The First Stage of Incredible Influence

by Daniel Batten on April 20, 2011

What do you think is the number one reason that even the unlikeliest of people manage to influence you?

This has nothing to do with charisma, extraversion, having the “gift of the gab”, diction, professionalism, good looks, or any other things you might imagine.

The number one thing that must be in place before influence is able to occur, is that the person influencing must have an emotional connection to what they are talking about, which they are aware of. Now everyone has an emotional connection with what they do (we are motivated by emotions). But most people are not aware of what this emotional connection is.

Here’s the reason I do what I do, as an example. I was the CEO of a software company in 2006, when I found myself listening to the eulogy of my father. And I got profoundly disturbed. Each person who spoke, talked about what my father – a great teacher – had meant to them. It was moving. And it moved me to realise that I wasn’t doing what I was put on this world to do. Because no-one was going to talk that way about me unless I changed.

And so over the next 9 months, I put in place an exit strategy for myself so the company I’d co-foundered could continue to flourish, and I could do what I was here to do: to help people who had mastered something to leverage what they’d spent years mastering – by showing people how to lift their game from informing to influencing.

Until I became aware of why I did what I did at an emotional level, I wasn’t able to strike a strong chord with others I spoke to on this subject.

All influential communication starts from the heart. This doesn’t mean speaking sentimentally “from the heart” and expecting magic to happen. What it means is that unless you care authentically at an emotional level about what you are saying, and you know why you care, no one else will.

Sounds simple, yet most people never take conscious steps to articulate what things they are passionate and get emotional about in their message. Being passionate about something is a good start – but its not enough. Have you ever met someone passionate about something who couldn’t articulate why they care about their subject or product? Finding and articulating why you get obsessed about something is the first step.

To get clear on why you do what you do

– remember back to a time when you were doing something different from what you are doing right now.

– recall the turning point (or turning points) that lead you to get interested in what you do right now

– describe what you are doing now as a results.

That’s it. No more than 2 sentences on each part.

Until you do this, you will not be clear on the emotional “why” you do what you do.

Getting this clarity at an emotional level, is the key to others getting clear at an emotional level about why they want to listen to you and

act on your recommendations.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Danny Johnson April 20, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Great self development information. You must have read Think and Grow Rich and Skills with People. You are doing a awesome job.

Again great article.

Have a Blessed Day,

Danny & Laura

Craig Juengling April 20, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Daniel, your story and message struck a chord in me… and a strong one at that. As a Coach, I often see people only operate from their “heads” and the message is stale, lackluster or falls flat. It is when they connect and speak from the heart, the passion and true meaning come through.

Well done.

Craig

Sally Mabelle April 21, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Thanks for this affirmation, Daniel. I just got back from the National Speakers Conference in Melbourne and there I met Geoff McDonald who encouraged me to write my ‘MANIFESTO’ and 10 commandments to strongly and emotionally state what it is I STAND for…if you want to check it out…would love you feedback… is it ‘too emotional’ to appeal to business leaders???see http://www.sallymabelle.com/speaker

Daniel Batten May 2, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Hi Sally
I had a read of these. These come from your authentic values. So I wouldn’t change these. What I would look to change is the languaging. Everything u say is true and needed, but by itself without your professional persuasive voice as a counterpoint – a lot of the language currently wouldn’t make it past the corporate immune system.

Daniel Batten May 2, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Thanks for the acknowledgment Craig.

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