How “non-attachment to outcome” improves your odds

by Daniel Batten on February 27, 2010

If you had been with me at a software company called “Peace” in the 90s you would have seen a rookie project manager about to do something that almost got out of hand. I’d been out of university a year and a half, and I one day strolled into my General Manager’s office and told him some ideas I had about how the company could go better. My General Manager was a man named Graham Orphan “ think Art Garfunkle with a moustache and English accent. Imagine my shock as he asked me to pitch my main idea to the whole senior management team.

After the event, I had bombed and he took me aside to tell me why. He said it didn’t matter how much sense what you said made logically “ what they heard was your attitude: and your attitude was you guys are idiots for not seeing things as I do .”

I realized he was right. That helped me not only in business, but years later when it came time to convince my teenage daughter of the benefits of doing her English homework.

He said “ look I’m going to give you another shot.

He was my hero. He inspired me not only to totally change the way I communicated from that point forward in my life, but he cared enough about me to stop for 2 minutes of his time to say something that changed my life. He influenced me to such a degree that a seed inside me was sewn in that moment that eventually years later would become fully fledged, and that was the thought-seed “What you have just done for me, I want to do for many other people.” It was in that moment I veered away from being an actor, and towards being a mentor.

It was here I was shown that attitude is more important than the words.

It was then and there I learnt that to care for the person while being unattached to the outcome.

That is what Graham Orphin influenced me into doing, and it made all the difference. Now I’m not saying be blase about what you want. Absolutely not. Want your outcome with all your passion. Before you step into the arena. Write down your goal. Visualise it as already done. Do all that. But Once you step into the arena “ drop all that and see your job as already done. You are not here to drive any outcome, you are in the arena to structure an opportunity to see if someone has good judgment or not.

Once you find yourself doing this, not just sales communication but any communication becomes easy and effortless. Its like taking a deep breath out and remembering who we are and who the person in front of us is too.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

cna training March 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm

What a great resource!

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