“What is the relationship between vulnerability and influence?”

by Daniel Batten on March 14, 2010

If you are opening your mouth, chances are you are selling something. Not necessarily a product, but at the very least you are selling your own ability to connect and engage with other people. This will affect whether you win friends, deals, or any situation where you seek to be influential  (when would you not want to be influential!)

So how do you get people to be better at sales without expensive sales training for you or your company? The key is connection “ but how do you get an instant connection? Great question. I’m glad you asked.

Think of people you feel most connected to. Have they shown you their vulnerability and authentic selves? Now, in a sale, whom do you buy from? Someone you feel connected to or someone where there is no connection? You buy from people you connect with.

So, here you are spending all this time hiding parts of your personality in order to be “professional”. That has the net effect of disconnection. By trying to speed up a sale by doing everything right, we are slowing it down by being less vulnerable or authentic. The flip side is if you are vulnerable and authentic you speed up the sale.

You have everything to gain and little to lose by being authentic. Vulnerability is not that old Budweiser commercial where you break down crying while saying, “I love you man!” Vulnerability is a state of mind. It is a clear signal to your prospect or person you are talking to with, “This is who I am. This is real. I’m not hiding anything.”

If you’re new to a situation, then be honest. If you’re unsure of an answer, admit it. If you disagree, beg to disagree. If you messed up, say sorry, skip the excuses and move on. If you think you have spinach in your teeth, come out and say, “Do I have spinach in my teeth?”

If it is authentic and honest, then your vulnerable will deepen the connection. And connection is the foundation of all business. This will take you further and faster. People appreciate that in the Age of Speed.

So if this is so simple, why aren’t more people doing it? Simple. Because most people have been influenced by an outdated style of sales training which is based on what you say – not how you be.

Being is more powerful than saying

Sincerity is more powerful than slickness.

And vulnerability trumps technique every time.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

sanjiv March 15, 2010 at 11:23 am

Nice ….its all about the personality I guess

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