“What would the world be like if everyone gave the real reason for their decisions?”

by Daniel Batten on January 17, 2010

Imagine these familiar scenarios

1. Declining a job-applicant
Traditional nonsense answer: “great application, but due to the unusually high quality of applicants blah blah blah”
Real answer: “your CV was good, qualifications were good – but we thought you were a bit boring, you had dandruff on your suit and just didn’t leave us with an impression you were very confident. The others weren’t that great either, but they were better than you and we needed to hire someone.

2. A Date request Q: Are you available tonight ?”
Traditional nonsense answer: “I’m really busy right now”
Real answer: “actually I am available but there are 3 other things I’d rather do which I think would be more fun than hanging out with you.”

3. Declining to invest.
Traditional nonsense answer: “We won’t be investing because it is not a match for our portfolio at this time, and we need to more tightly manage our risk profile on areas aligned to the blah blah blah
Real Answer: we were initially impressed by the business case, but after seeing you   we think we would get a better return by investing in mortgage-backed securities. We don’t think you can sell to anyone, let alone us. In fact that is too kind: we think you are incapable of giving away a popsicle to a man who’s been lost in the desert without water for 2 days.

The point is, people don’t give the real reasons for decisions, they give TNAs (Traditional Nonsense Answers). In fact, often people are not even aware of the real reasons.

But you can know the real reason: the real reason is ALWAYS emotionally driven – even if the person is primarily a left-brain scientific rationalist: because the decision-centre of the brain (the mamalian brain) is also the emotional centre. What happens next is that we rationalize our decision with something that sounds plausible and sensible.

What does this mean to you? It means you have a choice. Either you can listen to how people rationalize (ie: tell rational-lies) or you can decide to be one step ahead of the game and learn what persuades people (all people)

Used well, language allows you to influence almost any decision in your favour. Used traditionally, you will find yourself listening to people rationalize.

PS: if you want to really gain mastery of influence in your life, you will want to check out our “World Class Manifestation” programme. Its fun, it brings more money, time, and others will esteem you more highly. That’s because you learn to control your words, rather than have words control you.

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